And then, one day, that was all gone.
No note. No reason. Poof.
All that remained was a sappy apology and a never-fulfilled written promise of return.
Burned and betrayed, for many years I turned away from my desires to post pictures of random doorways, to write meaningless poetry and quirky comments, to express my inner “look what I found!”. Until now…
Now I am embarking on a journey that not too many others have the opportunity to embark on. I need documentation and occasionally some place to hide in and whimper. I am creating my first-ever fine art show. It gets messy.
It gets messy because the human psyche is messy. Messy and distracting. Particularly during times when great amounts of concentration is needed. Like during that moment when you are holding your breath, trying to capture that tiiiny speck of glinting light with a wobbling hand – THAT is the time these blasted thoughts start to make themselves known. At first they giggle, wickedly, whispering teases into your ear. They start to lose patience and interest and go away for a short while. ONLY TO RETURN with friends and some thoughts you’ve never met before. Pretty soon you are holding your breath, steadying your hand, gritting your teeth, praying that your noisy noisy will somehow vanish, grumbling about the uninvited company, creating a rapidly-growing list of all the things you hadn’t gotten done yet, all while still trying to get that damned glinting light. Screw that glinting light! It was only there to torment!!
This is why I need to write. For some reasons my guests seem to behave better once I have written about them. A bit egotistical of guests, but that’s how thoughts work. It’s a process to get them to behave the way you want them to. Mixing thought patterns with artistic expression is a commonly-known form of healing and a way to seek out understanding and growth.
I will be taking you along on this endeavor, throughout the year (and much longer, I’m sure). Bare with me. It will get messy. It will be far more exciting and beautiful. So join me <3
Below: Self Portrait by me.
A work still in progress.